The Isolation Cycle: 3 Tips To Break The Cycle
Whether you (or a loved one) are battling depression, anxiety, walking a grief journey, or facing any other type of mental health issue or major life transition, it’s not uncommon to feel alone and/or want to hide from everyone and everything. A few months ago, I highlighted 4 tips to effectively check in on your loved ones. There are many situations in which the tips I highlight in that blog article can be beneficial however, the implementation of those tips are highly important when the feelings of or tendency for isolation is present.
Isolation manifestation
So what do I mean when I say isolation? Great question! As with most things in mental health, it varies from person-to-person however, I witness isolation manifesting in two ways:
Feeling alone in your experience (i.e. “No one understands what I’m going through"): there are many factors that can influence this manifestation of isolation. However, it most commonly stems from feeling as though you are surrounded by individuals who do not fully understand the battle you’re facing. Particularly, lacking an understanding of what it feels like and/or how it impacts your world.
Actively isolating yourself from others (i.e. “I just want to be alone” or “I don’t have the energy to be around others”): some battles may feel easier to navigate if you pull inward and “hide” from the world. Influencing factors to this thought process could be: 1) believing actively isolating yourself reduces triggers to depression, anxiety, grief, etc. and/or 2) feeling as though less energy is required of you when isolated due to not having to “show up” a certain way when socializing.
On the surface, these manifestations may look like a form of coping (and to a degree, yes. Isolation is your body and mind’s way of protecting yourself) however, some “coping mechanisms” can cause more harm than good.
risks of isolation
While isolation may appear helpful (how can it be harmful when we’re preventing possible triggers, right?), it carries a risk of increasing the symptoms that developed the original desire to isolate and can possibly create other factors (see below) that encourages continuation of isolation. The cycle of isolation is displayed to the left.
The symptoms of whatever mental health battle you’re facing feel heavier/are triggered
The persistence of the increased symptoms leads you to desiring isolation (the rate at which this desire happens, if at all, varies from person-to-person)
The desire can quickly shift into full activation of isolation (the way in which isolation manifests is unique to each individual)
Continued engagement in isolation can develop feelings of being lethargic and lack motivation; negatively influencing the symptoms that encouraged isolation in the first place.
Cyclical patterns can appear daunting and unbreakable but it is possible to interrupt the cycle. Before getting a look into how you might break the isolation cycle, it’s important to discuss how isolation is different than alone time.
difference between isolation and alone time
Spending time alone with yourself can be very therapeutic and healing; isolation, however, does not serve you the same way. For this reason, it’s worth discerning between the two and identifying their differences:
Spending time alone = is an intentional act to engage in restorative activities (such as self-care) allowing you to recenter/ground.
Isolation = is an act (one that can be intentional or subconscious) of being alone due to lack of energy or attempts to avoid triggers. Prolonged amounts of isolation carry the risk of increasing symptoms contributing to the desire for isolation (as mentioned above).
Spending time alone can leave you feeling recharged and ready to continue taking on whatever comes your way. It refills your tank which can offset (and possibly prevent) depression, anxiety or any other mental health battle you may experience. Whereas isolation, often times, leaves you feeling lethargic and unmotivated; potentially increasing symptoms. While the cycle of isolation (see image above) may seem daunting, it is possible to interrupt and break the cycle.
tips to reduce isolation
If you find that you (or your loved one) have a tendency to gravitate towards isolation, it is possible to begin changing this pattern. Let’s go over a few tips you can implement today to begin interrupting and breaking that isolation cycle:
Change your environment: a common misconception of getting out of isolation is that we have to engage in social interaction (and sometimes, yes, this is helpful). However, it is possible to offset isolation by placing yourself in a public environment without engaging in social interaction. For example, taking a walk in a public park while listening to your favorite podcast/playlist. Silently being around other people can encourage a reduction in isolation.
Become intentional: if you find you truly need that time by yourself (***note, this can also be true for those who aren’t actively battling a mental illness. Self-care and alone time are important and beneficial when utilized properly), be intentional about how you’re going to use that time in your own space without others around. To become intentional, I encourage you to try these few tactics: 1) eliminate mindlessness. Rather than mindlessly scrolling social media, can you intentionally choose your favorite show to mindfully watch? 2) Set a time limit/time frame. Identifying the amount of time you’ll be engaging in your intentional actions/activities will help ensure the alone time doesn’t shift into isolation. Lastly, 3) list the benefits the alone time can/will bring you. In doing this, overtime, you will find your tendency for isolation begins to shift into spending time alone.
Recognize the cycle & ask for assistance: it’s hard to know how to implement change if you aren’t aware of when or where it’s needed. To begin identifying where change is needed, I encourage you to recognize what your cycle of isolation looks like (i.e. what triggers the desire to isolate, when you do isolate what’s the thought process encouraging the actions?, etc.). Once you have an idea of what this cycle looks like, communicate these findings with your support system and ask them to help you recognize when it’s in play. From there, you can begin to explore what actions will help interrupt and break the cycle.
If you’d like assistance on identifying your unique isolation cycle, click below to schedule your FREE 15 minute consultation. In this time together, you’ll be able to share more about where you’re getting stuck, I can provide insight into what our time working together might look like, as well as answer any questions you might have.
Here’s to living a better life as your best self.
Brittany Squillace, MA, LMFT
Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist
Grief Counselor
