Grounding Techniques: Safe Space Exercise

In a time when the world feels incredibly unsafe and out of your control, it's important to foster and create safety whenever (and however) possible. In this blog article, I will guide you through a top grounding technique, the safe space exercise, in attempts to help you feel a sense of safety in a time when that seems out of reach and impossible. I encourage you to utilize this exercise as often as needed. Remember, there is power in identifying what's within your control in times like these; attempting to create and protect your own safety is a strategy to effectively regain control.

Grounding Techniques: Safe Space Exercise Set Up

To set you up for success when engaging in the safe space exercise, I encourage you to follow the steps below:

1. Find a comfortable space - this can either be a space that brings you peace and comfort or a neutral space. The most important piece is ensuring that whatever space you’re doing this exercise in doesn’t carry any triggers. Ideally, your space would have minimal to no distractions; turn your phone on do not disturb if possible.

2. Enhance your space - add anything to your present moment (music, smell, comfort [i.e. blankets, pillows, sun lamp, etc.]) that will encourage an enhancement of your experience of the safe space exercise. Personally, I like to play a spa music playlist from Spotify. Bilateral stimulation playlists might also be incredibly helpful.

3. Take three deep breaths - once you’re settled in your comfortable space, begin the exercise by taking three deep breaths. Be sure to breathe from your diaphragm; filling your belly. Inhale through the nose and exhale through the mouth.

4. Asses how your body is feeling - last step before diving in, take a quick assessment of how your body is feeling. If you’re noticing any tension, quickly engage in progressive muscle relaxation before moving on to the next steps.

Grounding Techniques: Safe Space Exercise Steps

Now that you are settled and (hopefully) relaxed, let’s begin:

1. Think of a safe and welcoming space - I want you to first think of a safe and welcoming space. This can be a space you’ve actually been to and are able to access, it can be a place you’ve dreamt of visiting, or it can be an imaginary space you created. Wherever it is, it should bring peace and comfort to you. Once you are there, allow yourself to be in the space.

2. What are you seeing? - Once you are in that space, I want you to think about what you’re seeing. Are you inside or outside? Are you in nature or in a building/room that holds various furniture and decor? Do the surroundings you see have meaning to you or are they neutral? What is the brightness of your space? Whatever you are seeing, I encourage you to describe your surroundings in as much detail as possible (for guidance on this, watch Grounding Techniques: The 5,4,3,2,1 Method).

3. What are you hearing? - Now tune into what you’re hearing. Is your safe space quiet or is it filled with comforting sounds? Is it filled with white noise that fades away in the background? Are you hearing anything within your body (whether it be breathing, thoughts, etc.)?

4. What are you smelling? - Is there a certain smell that brings you comfort and a sense of safety? If so, and you’re able to access it, I encourage you to put that scent in your actual present moment to enhance on your experience with this exercise.

5. What are you feeling? - I want you to explore both the external (bodily sensations) and internal (emotions) feelings that your safe space evokes. Do you feel a sense of safety and comfort? Are you feeling grounded and in control? Are you experiencing any negative feelings? If so, what can you communicate to them to let them know this is your safe space and they aren’t welcome in this space? Regardless of what you’re feeling, I encourage you to observe the feelings rather than judge.

6. Sit in the safe space - now that you’ve created your ideal safe space, relish in it! Fully immerse yourself in this space and stay for as long as needed.

7. Return to your present moment - lastly, when you’re ready, take three deep breaths as you did in the beginning and return to your present moment.

Grounding Techniques: Safe Space Exercise Debrief

To get a better of how that exercise served you (and may be able to serve you better), I encourage you to ask yourself the following questions:

1. What worked in this exercise? - is there anything that made engagement in the exercise more powerful? Is there anything that helped you get into and stay in the exercise?

2. What didn’t work? - is there anything you’d do differently next time?

3. How will you know when this exercise needs to be utilized? - in particular, what are the warning signs? What are the triggers that leave you feeling unsafe and dysregulated; leading you to know when to utilize the safe space grounding technique?

I encourage you to mentally store away the safe space you just created to access anytime you need. Remember, you are completely in control of this space. It doesn’t change unless YOU change it. YOU get to change this safe space as you need and as your life circumstances change; allowing it to serve you better. I hope you are able to lean on this safe space exercise in times there is any ounce in lack of safety and a sense of being grounded. If you have questions or need further guidance on this exercise, please contact me below; I’d love to connect and assist you in anyway I can. For audio guidance through this exercise, listen to Best Self Therapy’s Grounding Techniques: Safe Space Exercise.

Here’s to living a better life as your best self!

Brittany Squillace, MA, LMFT

Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist